The Serry Jpringer Show
by ChibiShiva
Summary: It's been a year or so since i haven't uploaded a fic ^_^' Serry Jpringer Chappie 2 : Weird mix in'here.... Tifa is having an affair.... with who?! Read to find out ^_^ Tifa and Cloud bashing, R&R still appreciated lol
1. Meant to be forever? Nah, not with HER!

Serry Jringer Show   
**Disclaimer** : I don't own FF8 but Square does, and I don't own the Jerry Springer Show. 

A/N : I guess I was on Kentucky Fried Chicken when I wrote this..... and on fatigue. Don't mix KFC and drowziness with FF8, or you'll get a wierd Jerry Springer rip-off. Read at your own risk, implied yaoi, Rinoa bashing and use of the f-word many times. I repeat : READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! 

**_The Serry Jpringer Show_**

  
  


Serry : Hello everybody! Today, we'll reveal some FF secrets... and it won't be really good to see! OK. Please welcome my fisrt guest, Squall Leonhart!   
Squall : ....Whatever, man. 

Serry : So what's your problem? 

Squall : I have this girlfriend, Rinoa, for 'bout three months and I'm here to tell her to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! 

Audience : *Cheers and yellling* 

Serry : But you have another secret. 

Squall : Yeah. I'm cheating on her with Zell! 

Audience : Awhhhh... KAWAIIIII!!!!!!!!!!! 

Serry : Why? 

Squall : First, she's a bitch, second she doesn't stop following me 'round, third, she's screaming my name everywhere, and I mean _everywhere_, fourth, Zell doesn't do one of these things and he's just sooo cute... 

Audience : Awhhhh...... 

Serry : Are you ready to tell her? 

Squall : What do you think? It's a 2½ months I want to tell her but she just doesn't stop talkin' to me so I don't have the time. 

Serry : Let's bring her out. (And hopefully get her out). Rinoa! 

Rinoa : *Comes on the stage, and instead of seating on the chair she sits on Squall.* Hi Serry! I got the most wonderful man on the surface of........ what's the name of the planet Squally-Wally? 

Squall : Whatever..... 

Rinoa : *Screaming* on Whatever! 

Audience : BOOO!!!!!! 

Rinoa : *Almost crying* MEANIES!!!!!! 

Squall : Now get the fuck out of me. 

Rinoa : Just a little longer..... please. 

Serry : Are you ready to tell her? 

Squall : Listen carefully. I - DON'T - LOVE - YOU - ANYMORE .I'm cheating on you. 

Rinoa : *Breaks down and cry* MEANIE!!!! YOU MEANIE!!!!!!! With who the motherfuckin' hell are you cheating on me! 

Serry : Bring the other one out! 

Zell : *Runs on the stage* 

Squall : *Pitches Rinoa who lands on her @$$, goes toward Zell and kisses him* 

Audience : Awhhh...... Whoo-hoo!. *Cheers and yelling* 

Zell : Wanna fight you bitch! Wanna fight? 

Rinoa : Hell Yeah! 

Zell : *Starts to beat the hell outta her* 

Audience member : You don't call Svete for stopping'em? 

Serry : NO! HELL NO! This is the best day of my life *wipes out a tear as Rinoa gets the beating of her lifetime* 

Audience : ZELL! ZELL! ZELL! ZELL! ZELL! 

Serry : I guess Zell is our fav. Mine too. 

Zell : *Finishes off Rinoa with My Final Heaven* 

Rinoa : *Dies a lot* 

We'll come back after these messages! 

Quistis : *Dressed in an S&M kinda outfit, whip in hand* You want to get whipped cream? Or get whipped with cream? So come at my room after 2:00 AM and I'll be waiting for you..... for your pleasure and mine! 200 Gil plus taxes, cream non-included. 

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- 

Irvine : Hello, his is Irvine Kinneas, directly from Balamb Garden for your daily weather broadcast. *Points at FF8 World Map* For the Balamb Region, sun all afternoon. For Trabia, a missile rain is coming, so get in a buker or get a real god umbrella. Timber and Deling City, expect a sorceress murder at 20:00 o'clock. Wait... what's the scenari9o doing in my papers? 

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Serry : Welcome back. Squall, any thought   
Squall : Finally, she's dead. Oof! Thanks Zell! 

Serry : The world is saved once again. So hi Zell. How are you? 

Zell : *Sings "I Feel Good" by James Brown* What do you think? She's dead, I got _the man_ and.......... I'll find another thing later. 

Serry : Do you have plans for the future? 

Squall : Well, we were talking "bout going on a trip, sumthin' like that. 

Serry : Oh! We're outta time! My final quote : All is good that ends good. Well, until next time, thake care of yourself, and KILL RINOA!!!! 

Audience : *Cheers and Yelling* 

  
  
  
  
  


**A/N 2** : So... how did you like my fisrt part? Not really funny heh? Well, if I get any good reviews, I'll come up with another Serry Jringer episode. Thanks for reading! 


	2. Weird mix in'here

Serry Jpringer Show FF7 Episode - Weird mix in'here...  
  
Disclaimer : *shows on page* ChibiShiva doesn't own ANYTHING HERE, expect her character Serry Jpringer.  
  
A/N : Well it seemed that people liked my fic... so I'm posting another chappie, this one about FF7. Oh ya.. the "WTH look" is an inside joke hehehe ^_^ (cloud_strife_7000, you know what I'm talking about hehehe =P). Tifa bashing, but she's my favorite female character, so it's all in good fun. For Cloud.... well I just like the dumb attidue people give him hehe ^_^;;  
  
Announcer : Please welcome the girl that has to deal with the voices in ChibiShiva's head (a/n see my nickname on MSN for references)... hell she has a lot of job to do! Serryyyyy Jrpiiingerr!!!!  
  
Audience : Serry! Serry! Serry! Serry!  
  
Serry : Thank you, thank you everybody. Today we meet a young woman who's wondering who the hell is her son's father.... Tifa Lockheart!!!  
  
Male audience : WHOO-OOH! *cat whistles, drooling, panting*  
  
Female audience : *anime sweatdrop*  
  
Tifa : *sits on chair* Hi guys! Hi Serry!  
  
Serry : Welcome Tifa. Can you please explain why you're here?  
  
Tifa : Well..... I've had this boyfriend, Cloud, for some time now. We have a son, but I'm not sure it's his hehehe... I've been cheating on him.  
  
Serry : Can you bring in Cloud?  
  
Cloud : *gets on stage with a dumb look on his face* Hey. *stays up*  
  
Serry : You know... you can take a seat hehehe -_-;;  
  
Cloud : *snaps out* Oh.. hum.... yeah. Alright. So..... *face goes blank*  
  
Tifa : -_- *smacks Cloud on his head* Look.... we need to talk.  
  
Cloud : Hmmm.... 'bout what honey?  
  
Tifa : About the fact that I've been cheating on you.  
  
Cloud : *looks on his clothes* Shitting??? Where??? O.O  
  
Serry : *gives Cloud the WTH look*  
  
Cloud : *freaks out and looks at Tifa again*  
  
Tifa : CHEATING!!!!! C-H-E-A-T-I-N-G!!!  
  
Cloud : Oh ya... cheating! *smiles widely* Now I understood ^_^  
  
Tifa and Serry : *sweatdrops*  
  
Cloud : *realizes* Huh?????!!!!!! Why me! WHY!!!!!! *falls to his knees and sobs loudly*  
  
Tifa : You mean..... you didn't notice me coming back later from work?  
  
Cloud : *still on his knees* Nope....  
  
Tifa : BUT I DON'T EVEN WORK!!  
  
Cloud : I thought something was weird... Y'know... the extra money and all.  
  
Tifa : *sighs* I AM NOT WORKING!!!!!  
  
Cloud : O-k..... *blank face once again*  
  
Serry : Tifa, can you tell us who you've been sleeping with?  
  
Tifa : Hmm... ok. I've been sleeping with *gets out list from her bra* : the Cids from FF4, FF6, FF7, FF8 and FF9.... Kain, Sephiroth, Vincent, Cecil, Edward, Kuja, Edge, Rufus, Reno, Setzer, Edgar, Sabin, Locke, Butz, Steiner, Tidus, Kefka, Auron and Galuf.  
  
Cloud : *snaps out* Can you repeat? I missed all the ones before Galuf.  
  
Tifa : *gives Cloud the WTH look*  
  
Cloud : *is traumatized and looks for a dark corner*  
  
Serry : *lights up all corners*  
  
Cloud : D'OH!  
  
Serry : Anyway... can you bring the guys out?  
  
Guys : *comes out and runs toward Tifa*  
  
Edge : Hey..... Kain... thought you were with Cecil?  
  
Kain : Oh ya..... mebbe.... eh Cecil?  
  
Cecil : O.O hehehehehe ^_^;; Well we're even right?  
  
Kain : Yup ^_^ *grabs Cecil by the hand, and they walk out*  
  
Serry : Can't miss that hehehe *drools and follows the guys, making little drool poodles all the way long*  
  
Svete : *from backstage* Release the Backstreet Boys.  
  
Serry : *comes back onstage, shaking, grabbing Setzer's coat* Niuuuuu.. not'em! . Protect meh!  
  
Setzer : *puts her down* Ya.... *thinking* Such a crazy girl  
  
Serry : *getting over her feelings* Oh well..... anything to say guys?  
  
The Cids : *fighting each other*  
  
FF8 Cid : *pops-up head thru dust cloud* Yeah? Lookie-here, I'm fighting, so I'll talk to ya later.  
  
FF6 Cid : *drags FF8 Cid back into dust cloud*  
  
Background sounds : OW! (4) - STOP IT! (7) - ARGH!!!! (9) - KURSE ALL CIDS... except me! (8) - GET OFF MAH FOOT! (6) - It's not yours... it'f FF7 Cid's I'm stomping (9)!!!  
  
Serry : *gives all Cids the WTH look*  
  
Cids : *sit down, hanging they're heads*  
  
Serry : Now that all the ruckus -  
  
Rufus : *turns head* WHAT NOW! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Not the WTH look please...  
  
Serry : I was saying RUCKUS. The fight, the noise... anyway.... Tifa, what do you have to say for your defense?  
  
Tifa : Huh..... Cloud's insane and sexually non-compatible with me.  
  
Serry : Ya.. good explanation enough for meh *laughs* But who will you choose?  
  
Tifa : *thinks* How about..... Edward! ^_^  
  
Edward : *runs to her*  
  
Tifa and Edward : *making out*  
  
Cloud : Cool..... live porn ^_^ *watches them*  
  
Serry : *looks at watch* Time for our final thought : "Although someone's insane and sexually non-compatible with you, you shouldn't be rejecting that person. Cuz we live in a world were everybody's different, and that if everybody's different we're all the same." *to card writer* That was lame.... nevermind it 'k? Anyway, until next time, take care of you... and DON'T CHEAT ON EDWARD, TIFA!  
  
Audience : *cheers and applause*  
  
Serry : *as 'lil generic music plays* So Cloud.... you ever gonna get another girlfriend?  
  
Cloud : Nope.... I'll just switch to guys... eh Sephy? *makes out with him*  
  
Serry : Wow... this I gotta tape hehehehe ^_~ *gets camera out*  
A/N 2 : Thank you to all my reviewers, and I name (in alphabetical order hehe) Black Dragon, ChibiBahamut (told me by MSN Messenger) Jade queen of the Damned, Kaji the Harlequin, Shadow and Sniff! THANK YOU!!!! ^_______^ Next chappie : FF9.... or "I am a cross-dresser and PROUD OF IT!" 


End file.
